Hello Attentive Lover

Thanks for joining in, its so great to be able to laugh on a regular basis!

Katz

No worries Katz.

Glad I did not hit the too risque line.

I could add lots too from my remembered store or heaps from circulating e-mails.

But we should leave space for others....

Hi Attentive Lover

Please don't stop the momentum........people will come and join as they like, there are no limits in making one happy!

Much appreciated.....

Katz

Two Aussie cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.

One asked, "What are you up to, Mate?"

Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."

"Oh yeah ... and what route are you takin'?"

"Ah, probably the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought."

Hi 88888888

lol And the man strikes again!

Katz

A drover is at a bar, drinking, when his dog sticks his head into the bar and barks just once.

The drover takes his gun, goes outside, fires one shot and comes back into the bar with a dead duck.

A bit later the dog sticks his head in and barks just twice.

The drover goes out, fires two shots, comes back in with two more ducks.

A bit later the dog sticks his head in the bar, with a stick in his mouth, waving it about.

The drover just tells the dog to go and play.

The barman, having observed all this says "Why not play with your dog? He did good calling you out for the ducks, and then you will not even play fetch with him."

The drover smiles and says. "He didn't want to play, he was just telling me there were more ducks....more than you could point a stick at."

The scene is set, the night is cold, the campfire is burning and the stars twinkle in the dark night sky...
Three hang-glider pilots, one from Australia, one from South Africa and the other from New Zealand, are sitting round a campfire near Ayers Rock, each embroiled with the bravado for which they are famous.
A night of tall tales begins....
Kiven, the kiwi says, "I must be the meanest, toughest heng glider dude there us. Why, just the other day, I linded in a field and scared a crocodile thet got loose from the swamp. Et ate sux men before I wrestled ut to the ground weth my bare hends end beat ut's bliddy 'ed un.
Jerry from South Africa typically can't stand to be bettered. "Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight on a tiny treck, ind a fifteen foot Namibian desert snike slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grebbed thet borsted with my bare hinds and tore it's head orf ind sucked the poison down in one gulp. Ind I'm still here today".
Barry the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his ****.

Hi 88888888

Yep, reckon Aussie's would be the only one's to have mastered poking a fire that way!!

Katz

Hi Katz,

One more cause I been away but this one made me laugh when I heard it!

A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race & buys a property way out west. No electricity, no phones - no company.
He has read everything he can &, after a few weeks is getting a bit bored. One afternoon he sees the dust coming up way in the distance coming towards him, a while later a crusty old bushie gets out of a battered holden ute and puts out his hand.
"Hello mate, I'm your closest neighbour, live about 200 miles up the road, thought we'd chuck ya a bash to welcome you to the area"
"Sounds great" says the ad-man.
"I hear you city boys like your drugs and drink so we'll get that in for ya."
"Sounds awesome" says the ad-man
"we tend to get a bit punchie and horny 'round here after all those drugs & drink though, can ya handle yerself if a blue kicks off or a bit of sex is on the cards?"
"I go alright" say the ad-man
"this all sounds great, what time should I come and what should I wear?"
"Doesn't really mattter" says the bushie "it is only going to be you and me".......

Hi 88888888

A case of...... "EXIT, STAGE LEFT"!! lol

Thanks 8 '


Katz