A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress pretends not to notice and asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.' The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.' Again, the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks th e waitress. 'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked p otato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.' Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time ?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

The year is 2222 and after accumulating enough frequent flier miles,

Mike and Maureen land on Mars. They meet a Martian couple and are
Talking about all sorts of things.

Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, How they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

'Pretty much the way you do,' responds the Martian. Discussion ensues And finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and Experience one another.

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian Strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half an inch Long and just a quarter inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.

''Why?' he asks, 'What' s the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'It's just not long enough to reach me!' 'No Problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.

With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite
Impressively long.

'Well,' she says, 'That's quite impressive, but it looks like a
Long pencil, it's still pretty narrow....' '

''No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each
Pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is Extremely exciting to the woman.

'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate Love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.

As they walk along, Mike asks 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was damn good. How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache. She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'




so be careful Guys if a woman starts slapping your forehead and tweaking your ears!!!