Hi Indiana J
Majority of marriages end in divorce, it always seems like our own experiences are far more isolated. Of course this is relevant, as it is raw at the time and 'our' life experience. We tend to feel more pain as we reflect on the negativity we place on one another and rest assured, no one benefits from these times.
And I couldn't help but notice how you feel you are solely to blame, for your marriage breakdown. Forgetting you both entered the arranged marriage, together!
Be it that you worked many hours studying to accomplish your degree in law and then starting your own practice, does rob majority of your energy. But had your wife entered the marriage with no expectations or limitations, then perhaps things may have been different. Surely if one partner is busy with studies, it would make sense for the other to pursue their own interests, rather than relying on someone else to fill their day?
Perhaps maturity plays a huge part in recognising having patience, and looking at the bigger picture and foreseeing the outcome, of what you are now reaping.
Alas, too many people focus on what they do NOT have, instead of what they already DO have.....
Focusing on how and why it all turned to custard, can do any ones head in. We seem to punish ourselves due to the shame society in general, ranks divorce.
It is after all, how most of us have witnessed or learned the reaction dealt to us, through family, friends, and co workers alike.
Less judgement and excepting that it takes two, to make a go of ANY project, and realising that both had grown in different directions, would seem more forgiving.
To stop pointing the finger at who's to blame and seek the positives, you both shared at the time. Being grateful for times you did have together and what was learned during the partnership.
To forgive all discrepancies and move on with the knowledge you have.
Look at the positive aspects in how this person helped shaped, who you are today!
And for one moment ask yourself, what positive things did you leave in your wake, for her to learn, acknowledge and grow from?
Life can seem unjust during certain moments, but how long one wants to dwell in their lessons, be it indifferent........... is up to the individual.
Katz
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