Ok-- I am going to post this for a friend of mine, since you guys are so great, and I know you will give honest input. Here is her story:

She is in her late 50's, and has been dating a 61 year old man for about 2.5 years.. She says: " We are so good together. We get along with no problems. We enjoy the same things. The only problem is my weight. Can we overcome this? I think so--most of the time. My girls love him and his kids think the world of me. "

They both come from 30+ year marriages - now divorced. Both successful, good people. He wants a skinny girlfriend. She is a well-dressed woman, attractive, and by no means sloppy in any way.. I believe she said she is a size 16.

He is a very friendly man, very nice from when I've met him.

She wants to get married. At the very least, wants desperately an engagement ring!... He just told her again if she loses 30 lbs and keeps it off (for 4 months), that he will give her a ring....


They love each other, are together constantly, but......

She says she is now taking diet pills that make her grouchy and can't sleep at night..

What is your unbiased view????

And if she puts it back on after 4 months then what?? He takes back the ring..engagement off??
man oh man..if you cant be accepted for who you are and what you are...find someone else who will love you unconditionally. If someone still can't accept you for the way you look after 2 years..move on...life's too short to put yourself through so much misery!!

Exellent answer Sexci, I just wanted honest and interestig opinions..

This silly woman should just let him have it, in the familly jewels that is..


she should tell him to get 10 years younger than her in 30 days then shell think about it, besieds, has he looked in the mirror.. He is no Brad Pitt the old bastard..

Sheesh, it never ceases to amaze me the things some women are willing to do to themselves simply to say they have a man? *cough* in their lives.

loosing 30lbs wont change the person inside, but it may give her more confidence. But in saying that the only way you can be successful at losing weight is to want it for YOURSELF! not for someones elses selfish wishes....

If he truly loves your friend it will not make any difference what size she is, but then giving him the benefit of the doubt maybe she has some health issues that would benefit in some way from losing weight?

And if she has to lose 30lbs.. make an effort for him.. what is he going to do in return? does he smoke? drink? or some other thing that he could change to make himself better.. or is he like alot of men think they are... perfect!

honestly some men use weight as a means of control.. this man is saying lose weight, many others say I dont mind the extra weight but then constantly niggle that you are big etc which of course erodes a persons confidence and keeps them where they are...

just another form of control...

Problem is she suffers from a severe case of low self-esteem to even allow a man to make such a ridiculous ultimatum.


I still maintain, a swift knee in the jeweles can do wondetrs, Lmao..

Have to agree with Both sexci and jem here, there has to be give and take and it sounds like he is not giving anything but ultimatums.

Sheesh some people think I'm fat But U know what I don't care, people either like me the way I am or Stuff them. Weight fluctuates all the time but a personality will never change nor will feelings. U get kicked down too many times and eventually when u get back up you start kicking right back at least that's what I do now.

we all age, it's just a matter of how gracefully we can do it, me I still act like a teenager sometimes cos that's how I feel but I also know how to act sensible too. I may not be elle Mcpherson and I may have a few more curves now than I did 2 years ago But I am still me and I will not change to make someone else happy.

I have just caught up with a friend from 20 years ago and even after so long he still thinks I'm hot the only difference is we are both 20 years older, we have both been married and divorced we both have kids and YES we are both bigger than we were back then when we knew each other as friends but he wants to get to know me again and offers to help in anyway he can, yet a male friend I met only 2 years ago is only interested in getting his rocks off when it suits him nothing more so Gee who do U think has the upper hand??

Scorps your friend should do what she feels is right not let him dictate to her especially at her age.

..And the Clown says:

Hey Sisters. You all Know how deplorable MCP i am. May be the guy doesn't want to get crushed when she wants to relive her favourite fantasy.

Originally Posted by Cutebutbossy

Have to agree with Both sexci and jem here, there has to be give and take and it sounds like he is not giving anything but ultimatums.

Sheesh some people think I'm fat But U know what I don't care, people either like me the way I am or Stuff them. Weight fluctuates all the time but a personality will never change nor will feelings. U get kicked down too many times and eventually when u get back up you start kicking right back at least that's what I do now.

we all age, it's just a matter of how gracefully we can do it, me I still act like a teenager sometimes cos that's how I feel but I also know how to act sensible too. I may not be elle Mcpherson and I may have a few more curves now than I did 2 years ago But I am still me and I will not change to make someone else happy.

I have just caught up with a friend from 20 years ago and even after so long he still thinks I'm hot the only difference is we are both 20 years older, we have both been married and divorced we both have kids and YES we are both bigger than we were back then when we knew each other as friends but he wants to get to know me again and offers to help in anyway he can, yet a male friend I met only 2 years ago is only interested in getting his rocks off when it suits him nothing more so Gee who do U think has the upper hand??

Scorps your friend should do what she feels is right not let him dictate to her especially at her age.

Cute I agree with what you are saying.. Nothing wrong behaving like a teenager etc.. You are as old as you feel, and Age is Only Numbers..

As for sensible, I think you are one extremelly intelligent and sensible soul, after all I had the pleasure of spending time with you..

So, be young , do whatever it makes you feel good, and if this world does Not Aprove.. Well, we all know what the world and its critics can do..

That goes for ALL the women here.. Remember sisterhood is powerful...

Cheers to All from scorpio and cats..

Trust me Vous are Not fat ok...

To quote MR Crisp.. He once said: When you get up in the moring, look in the mirror and say..The Rest of the world is a Mistake...Except..Me..

After all, Ego is Not a dirty word..
Myself, I plan to age as ungarcefully as I can, LMAO..

Originally Posted by Indiana J

..And the Clown says:

Hey Sisters. You all Know how deplorable MCP i am. May be the guy doesn't want to get crushed when she wants to relive her favourite fantasy.

well to me J that just show he is not able to use his imagination... there is always more than one way to fulfill a fantasy!

and yes I speak from experience as I was 130kgs at on time and that didnt stop much from happening unless you wanted an excuse