Originally Posted by Rockchick

If someone does come onto you (lucky guy!) just say "thanks man, but I'm straight and I got dragged along with the girls". Keep it honest and with a laugh and I' m sure the gay bloke will take no offence..

Yeah I used to work in bars and this would happen very occasionally, I pretty much did that, its just going into the lions den, so to speak. I guess I should just stop being such a wimp and just do it. But I am not denying I am scared ! (Fear borne of ignorance)

Sorry to the real gay guys I don't mean to invade your forum, I was just reading cyberhorses thread and thought it might narrow the gap if I gave the other end of the spectrum and our difficulties.
I do believe people should be free to do whatever they like as long as they are not harming themselves or others.

I'm not really into the Nite Club scene - prefer the quieter pubs - but once in a while I'll go out to a club if invited by friends, despite my dislike of noisy crowded places.

Therefore: when a lesbian friend invited me to hang out with her at the local gay club, I accepted - I was not going to treat her differently than any other friend.

We strolled along to the club, the bloke at the door looked at us and asked if we knew what sort of club it was - I figure he picked that I was straight and my friend is not blatantly gay so perhaps he took her for a straight as well and didn't want a "straight couple" going in unaware of the nature of the place.

It seemed just like any other niteclub to me: dimly-lit, loud and smokey; perhaps not quite as crowded as the straight clubs I've been in. People were making out but in the gloom you'd have to be pretty close to pick they were same sex couples.

We had a drink then my friend vanished off to catch up with some of her friends, leaving me alone at the table. No one hit on me and I've been told by a gay male friend that I look attractive (I took it as the compliment it was and not as a come-on) so I know it wasn't because I was hideously unattractive. I was putting out "I'm unavailable" body language and I figure the gays all picked me as straight, anyway.

Yes, I think "gaydar" works. It's a matter of reading the body language.

If anyone had tried hitting on me I would have just said, "sorry, mate, I'm straight - just here to have a few drinks with a friend," in a non-defensive fashion. I'm not the sort to get weirded out by being hit on by a gay guy. The gay blokes I know are very mindful that they are in the minority and that most the blokes they meet are not interested in a relationship so a polite "sorry, not interested" is accepted.

Hmmm, funnily enough, it's a lot of the straight guys who have the most difficulty with that, isn't it. "Sorry, not interested" is taken as "she's playing hard to get, of course she really wants me, I just have to keep pestering her until she gives in."

Honestly, I've yet to meet a gay bloke who is as obnoxious towards straight men who patently aren't interested as many straight men are to women who assert that they are not interested. (Notice I did not specify "straight women" - I've known blokes to take "sorry, I'm gay" as a challenge to try harder and be even more obnoxious, because obviously "she just hasn't found the right man yet" and he's just the guy to show her what she's been missing out on...)

Thanks this was very helpful, I have realised that I am thinking of gay blokes as if they behaved like straight guys and might 'try harder', etc. Cheers! I also seem to have some delusions about my own attractiveness

Originally Posted by thinker

That is reassuring to hear No I really just wanted to know how to turn down a gay 'come on' without causing offence, by going bright red and running out the door like an idiot (snip) but going to a gay club has been on my 'personal development' checklist for years.

Simple - you just say you're straight. It's no different than being hit on by a girl in a club when you're not single, there's no embarrasment, just say it straight (no pun intended).

And yes, you will get hit on, given phone numbers etc, but that's all part of the fun, I personally find gay guys to be far more fun, entertaining, and intelligent than any other crowd. It's always a good night, and you are almost always universally welcomed even if you are openly straight.

And yeah - there's a lot of straight females in gay clubs . . . . . . . . an untapped source of potential. :-)