I don't know about the title of this section. Not to say anyone tried to be offensive.

Anyhow, I am in an interesting position as to having 2 gay parents with partners. Now fast approaching 30, I have had a lot of time to get used to it.

I am wondering how many other people have been in this position? I know the biggest thing that this has affected me is not about their sexual orientation but rather the fear and half truths that result in a society that fears: other.

I hope that we can all forget all this stupidity over sexual orientation in the future. I hope the groups that want to stop gay people from publicly proclaiming their love in writing, and recognised by the law, will allow gay people live their lives in peace.

Hi cyberhorse,

Having 2 gay parents sure makes life interesting! It's great to hear stories such as this.

Just on the naming of this section. We had been advised that 'Queer Issues' is generally acknowledged in the gay & lesbian community as an empowering and inclusive term. If you find it offensive or have a better idea for a title, I would welcome your thoughts..

I've recently been looking after an 18 year old whose parents threw him out because he was gay. And there have been others before him. If you think things can be bad in the city, pity gay guys in small country towns where homophobia is rife, and nobody calculates the suicide rate of gay teens. These guys haven't even thought about their long-term futures as gay men, and their lack of rights and equal status under the law. They're just trying to cope with the rejection by their families, peers and religious nutters in the general community.
So, some advice. It's easy to be critical of people like David on BB seeming to make such a big deal about coming out, but you have to realise that country people can be extreme homophobes. What he did was brave, and potentially very difficult. Going back to the country is not going to be easy for him. Just because he's a public figure now does not guarantee acceptance or understanding. It may just make things harder for him. I do understand why he did it. Pretending to be straight is living a lie and, at 26, he's been doing that for a long time.
But awful as it is to say so, sometimes it's just safer to stay in the closet. I know this from experience. Some of the young men who have stayed with me had to be collected form the emergency room, having been beaten to a pulp for coming out. A student I once taught was beaten up because someone thought he was gay. He wasn't. That's the country for you.

Originally Posted by notyouraverage

If you think things can be bad in the city, pity gay guys in small country towns where homophobia is rife.

Yeah I grew up in a small village and never even knew the concept of gay until I was well into my teens! (Sheltered/Backward??). I don't know the statistic but something like one in nine people are gay or something, so I am just wondering what all the gay guys where I am originally from did. Its not so bad now, the internet and multichannel have hit the area and blowins of all sorts and shades have permeated the area. But it must have been tough for those guys back then.

Originally Posted by notyouraverage

I've recently been looking after an 18 year old whose parents threw him out because he was gay. And there have been others before him. If you think things can be bad in the city, pity gay guys in small country towns where homophobia is rife, and nobody calculates the suicide rate of gay teens. These guys haven't even thought about their long-term futures as gay men, and their lack of rights and equal status under the law. They're just trying to cope with the rejection by their families, peers and religious nutters in the general community.
So, some advice. It's easy to be critical of people like David on BB seeming to make such a big deal about coming out, but you have to realise that country people can be extreme homophobes. What he did was brave, and potentially very difficult. Going back to the country is not going to be easy for him. Just because he's a public figure now does not guarantee acceptance or understanding. It may just make things harder for him. I do understand why he did it. Pretending to be straight is living a lie and, at 26, he's been doing that for a long time.
But awful as it is to say so, sometimes it's just safer to stay in the closet. I know this from experience. Some of the young men who have stayed with me had to be collected form the emergency room, having been beaten to a pulp for coming out. A student I once taught was beaten up because someone thought he was gay. He wasn't. That's the country for you.

Country people and homophobia

Totally agree with you there, i also have seen disgusting attitudes towards Gays here in oz..

i was in a country town once and there was two guys in the club, (from the City)
they both were quite openly gay,
Anyway everytime one of them walked to the bar to buy a drink ,
the F%$#wit Disc jockey, stopped the music and gave them a stirring and pointed them out to everyone????? by the way the name of the town was Mildura in Vic,, so dont go there, the place is prehistoric

I have female friends and sometimes when they want a night hassle free from horny males they go to a local gay club. I would be welcome along (apparently its great fun) but I am too freaked out by what I think goes on in there that I could never bring myself to go. Am I just being homophobic or am I just so irresistable I will get sexually harassed all night ? Or does the gaydar really work and they will know I am not interested? I hope you understand I try to be openminded and accepting and dont intend to be offensive. In everyday life I know some guys who are gay, and I can have a laugh with them, but I know they know I am straight. But I am essentially a small town guy now living in the big city and have no clue how to deal with gay guys. Excuse my ignorance, any education appreciated.

Originally Posted by thinker

I have female friends and sometimes when they want a night hassle free from horny males they go to a local gay club. I would be welcome along (apparently its great fun) but I am too freaked out by what I think goes on in there that I could never bring myself to go. Am I just being homophobic or am I just so irresistable I will get sexually harassed all night ? Or does the gaydar really work and they will know I am not interested? I hope you understand I try to be openminded and accepting and dont intend to be offensive. In everyday life I know some guys who are gay, and I can have a laugh with them, but I know they know I am straight. But I am essentially a small town guy now living in the big city and have no clue how to deal with gay guys. Excuse my ignorance, any education appreciated.

Go, theyre fun ive had more fun in gay bars than straight,, dont forget theres lesbians there too
well there is at the one i go to lol

Just go. There worst thing that will happen is some guy will give you a wink or maybe if you're lucky a pinch on the bum

Seriously, it shouldn't really matter if the venue is gay or straight, it's all about having fun with your mates, yeah?

Get a few drinks into ya, grab one of your 'girlfriends' and have a boogey to the high-camp music usually played in gay bars. You're almost guaranteed a very good night out.

If you find another guy smiling at you too much, take it as a compliment and run for the bar for another drink! No one is going to force you to the wall, so to speak. And you'll be surprised at how many straight girls frequent gay bars - and you'll have no competition!

Originally Posted by Rockchick

No one is going to force you to the wall, so to speak.

That is reassuring to hear No I really just wanted to know how to turn down a gay 'come on' without causing offence, by going bright red and running out the door like an idiot Its just fear of the unknown. I am really more afraid of making a fool of myself than anything else. Its embarassing to have reached the age of 31 and still be so backward. I just wanted a gay guys perspective, before I had to face it in the flesh.(thanks RobbyG ) It will probably be a while before they go again, but I will let you know how I get on or if I have changed teams and there is a new man in my life lol. In fairness my friends have said all this to me before. The girls actually don't really want me along (afraid I will find out what they really get up to ), but going to a gay club has been on my 'personal development' checklist for years.

If someone does come onto you (lucky guy!) just say "thanks man, but I'm straight and I got dragged along with the girls". Keep it honest and with a laugh and I' m sure the gay bloke will take no offence..