We are fascinated by the internet jokes we come across.

let each one of us tell one and make this column a joke book

My first one is:

Three Wishes by a Genie
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up
there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going
to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door

A warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all
over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the
broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a Genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes."

I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman
in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now
have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.
"I'd do the same for you!"

So the Genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the
afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked
directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 32," she responded breathlessly.

"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in Genies?!"

were they 35 or 32

Originally Posted by Sexci_Diva

were they 35 or 32

Blows the punchline heh...

Originally Posted by 88888888

Blows the punchline heh...

right out the window

Originally Posted by Sexci_Diva

right out the window

Right out of the window comes another one:

The 11thHusband....

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10
husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be
gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I miss
him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"Your're with the "GOVERNMENT".. This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."

A man went to the vegetable shop and asked for beans and ........er.....sorry i forgot the rest..

Originally Posted by simpleguy

A man went to the vegetable shop and asked for beans and ........er.....sorry i forgot the rest..

..hmm not bad.

Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"

Originally Posted by 88888888

Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"

hahaha . i thought he wud say 'pls lift ur saree and give my son"

Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using a duplicate key; now I have lost it too.