thanx for explaining a little more shushu but still it doesn't explain the reasons behind the tragic event. No one outside your immediate family will ever understand it properly.

I am sorry for your loss and Yes if the government have done the wrong thing this time then someone needs to look into it. Laws wont be abolished unless they can be proven to be of no use to the people who voted for those members of Government who made the laws in the first place.

Please I hope you haven't taken anything to heart here as all I was trying to acheive was to understand why your departed wife would commit such a terrible act. I am a mother and would never EVER harm my children just because I didn't want to live anymore. No one can begin to imagine what goes on behind closed doors in any relationship regardless of how happy those people seem to be in public.

Madam i am posting this subject to discuss here with indians mainly with all those who are concerned about it and responsible for such non-sense laws. I am not trying here for any help for my own case i am just illustrating mine. Thinking, Self Experience is the first and best knowledge. I am not bothered about my case result because if i get aquitted i owe this society for doing that, and if it becomes worst i may have to go-back to prison where i can get lot of people and become well trained Criminal in opposing this society thats all but it should not happen to anymore people. Beacause many youngsters are dreaming a nice married life but if we see those family courts in india now a days we have to think about family system itself.

where do you wish to go? to the forest! if people think there is no worth in relations, that too of such sanctified family bond, it will be too tough to understand the worth of friendship as well. charity must begin at home, and you don't have to burn down the house for killing the rat. that is called stupidity. take care. live and let live there will be no problem.

i am living not yet died, but this stupid laws of india never leave any men to leave peacefully, those feminists who are getting funds from abroad they are fighting against thier own husbands and have become legal terrorist of this country and the whole country is behind those pussies and they are just spoiling families,i just meant that if you don't belive in men then there is no need of family system because family is depending only on TRUST AND COMPROMISE if any one one them is lost it is better not have that family you can't maintain a family only on set LAWS you can punish the guilty in many ways and under normal laws it self there A MURDER IS MURDER wether it is of wife or anybody else everybody is worthy here in this world.

Why blame feminists, it is high time women had some protection in your country...

As I said before, it is OUTMODED, Traditions adn Old Fashiond Ways that must change..

As far as we in the rest of the world understand women vere treated aboninably, they had No Rights, they vrere worse than chattels, a man and his familly could do whatever they wanted to any poor female once she married and left her home and family for exchange of the familly of her husband...

And if that family did not like her or accept her.. Heaven help her then...

It is not men or women who need to change it is the traditions old thousnads of years that are the culprit...

See a professional if you are not coping.. Blaming goverments and laws, will not help you get back on your feet...

Originally Posted by shushu

the indian government is very craczy to make partial laws like Dowry prevention Act, domestic harrasement Act, which are meant only to harrase any man and break the families, its better to abolish the family system instead of all theese laws. because family means, just compromise if there is a law which stimulate and take one side defenately it breaks the other because, defenately there will be some difference of opinion between any two hearts regarding many things. SO PLEASE ABOLISH FAMILY SYSTEM.

Am I correct in understanding that under custom (or law?) in India, when a couple is married the wife (or her family) pays an amount to the husband (or his family) and this amount is the dowry?

Is it also true that there are now laws in India about the wife or her family trying to recover this money, or more, if the wife makes complaints against the husband?

If so, it seems to me that:

(a) there needs to be more caution in making of marriages to ensure that the husband and wife understand how married life will be BEFORE they get married. It does not need to conform to what I or anybody else thinks is a good relationship, so long as the couple agree. It could even be formalised in the way of pre-nuptual agreements in many "western" countries. As India seems to be a country that is fascinated with legality, such agreements, suited to Indian culture, could be very popular.

(b) the concept of dowry could be abolished. It may have had a purpose in former times, but with the increased prosperity we are hearing about India (not universal yet), it seems that the concept of a dowry has become an object of greed.

Good answer AL, and there are still arranged marriages, no wonder that there is conflict..

And yes, unfoltunatelly..Greed...

Actually I saw a SBS doco about relationships in India, Pakistan etc..

when the two people want to marry, it is Not them that are being married.. But the whole familly, they haglle, bicker and make decisons on the lives of the young couple...

I was watching this and I thought.. My god why can not the couples just make their own decisons how they are going to live spend their lives and time together, etc...

If I am wrong I appologise.. It is just what I saw in a documentary...

Originally Posted by SCORPIOWOMAN

Good answer AL, and there are still arranged marriages, no wonder that there is conflict..

And yes, unfoltunatelly..Greed...

Actually I saw a SBS doco about relationships in India, Pakistan etc..

when the two people want to marry, it is Not them that are being married.. But the whole familly, they haglle, bicker and make decisons on the lives of the young couple...

I was watching this and I thought.. My god why can not the couples just make their own decisons how they are going to live spend their lives and time together, etc...

If I am wrong I appologise.. It is just what I saw in a documentary...

to an extent you are correct. but in the changed circumstances actually this dowary system does not exist anymore. normally there is no problem in the married life of educated people. now a days marriages are not fully arranged by the family as such. ofcourse, some sort of a bond is created between the families of both boy and girl. if a women has ommitted suicide after killing the child, i am sure it will not be merely a case of infidelity. it must be a case of harrassment. i don't believe in the suggestion that family system is to be abolished. i think it is a must and need of the hour to teach people about what is marriage and how to live it. if you study the catholic rules of marriage in india, you will find that a marriage guidance course is arranged for the ouples before the marriage. you will also find that it is cumpulsory for all to attend it. you can see a strong family bond between people. worry about money in the form of dowary especially in the rural areas still exist and sometime girls are forced to marry someone whom they don't like. that is a problem. freedom is not freedom until you allow others to have it. equality of partners in marriage is not so much found in the rural areas of the country.
however, i feel unless there is a sufficient reason, no one will take the life of a child. then there are also provisions in the law for the defendent to defend his or her case. with so much of proof in someone's hand i don't think it is difficult to defend one's case if what is told is right. he seems to be having remorse of his past mistake. nobody to blame for it.
from most of the known cases of this sort in India 99.9% are due to the harassment of the husband and his family that the girl ends her life. that is the reason why the court had to step in to protect the girl. nothing else. i have learned law and many of the case studies prove this point. an exception can be treated only as an unluck.

Originally Posted by chickchickle

to an extent you are correct. but in the changed circumstances actually this dowary system does not exist anymore. normally there is no problem in the married life of educated people. now a days marriages are not fully arranged by the family as such. ofcourse, some sort of a bond is created between the families of both boy and girl. if a women has ommitted suicide after killing the child, i am sure it will not be merely a case of infidelity. it must be a case of harrassment. i don't believe in the suggestion that family system is to be abolished. i think it is a must and need of the hour to teach people about what is marriage and how to live it. if you study the catholic rules of marriage in india, you will find that a marriage guidance course is arranged for the ouples before the marriage. you will also find that it is cumpulsory for all to attend it. you can see a strong family bond between people. worry about money in the form of dowary especially in the rural areas still exist and sometime girls are forced to marry someone whom they don't like. that is a problem. freedom is not freedom until you allow others to have it. equality of partners in marriage is not so much found in the rural areas of the country.
however, i feel unless there is a sufficient reason, no one will take the life of a child. then there are also provisions in the law for the defendent to defend his or her case. with so much of proof in someone's hand i don't think it is difficult to defend one's case if what is told is right. he seems to be having remorse of his past mistake. nobody to blame for it.
from most of the known cases of this sort in India 99.9% are due to the harassment of the husband and his family that the girl ends her life. that is the reason why the court had to step in to protect the girl. nothing else. i have learned law and many of the case studies prove this point. an exception can be treated only as an unluck.

You are so right, and you know your country better than anyone who was not born there or is living the traditional ways of that country..

It is sad, that sometimes lack of communication between partners can end like what happened to this poor soul...

I am just curious as to why they still have the DOWRY SYSTEM...

But, on the other hand I read that, in some Rural Communities is all but Imposible to eradicate..

My heart goes out to people when this happens..

This poor man must seek Profesional help, so at least some of his pain can be maganged better..

Thank you for the explanation.. Much apreceated...

As this is topic of DOWRY and why one young woman took such drastic steps for herself and her children..

I found this interesting information on an India times website...

Waht do some of you think about it.. Thank you so much for raedin this.. Scorpio and cats...



The most dramatic aspect is the giving of dowry.

In many communities throughout India, a dowry has traditionally been given by a bride's kin at the time of her marriage.

In ancient times, the dowry was considered a woman's wealth--property due a beloved daughter who had no claim on her natal family's real estate--and typically included portable valuables such as jewelry and household goods that a bride could control throughout her life.

However, over time, the larger proportion of the dowry has come to consist of goods and cash payments that go straight into the hands of the groom's family.

In the late twentieth century, throughout much of India, dowry payments have escalated, and a groom's parents sometimes insist on compensation for their son's higher education and even for his future earnings, to which the bride will presumably have access.

Some of the dowries demanded are quite oppressive, amounting to several years' salary in cash as well as items such as motorcycles, air conditioners, and fancy cars. Among some lower-status groups, large dowries are currently replacing traditional bride-price payments.

Even among Muslims, previously not given to demanding large dowries, reports of exorbitant dowries are increasing.

The dowry is becoming an increasingly onerous burden for the bride's family. Antidowry laws exist but are largely ignored, and a bride's treatment in her marital home is often affected by the value of her dowry.

Increasingly frequent are horrible incidents, particularly in urban areas, where a groom's family makes excessive demands on the bride's family--even after marriage--and when the demands are not met, murder the bride, typically by setting her clothes on fire in a cooking "accident." The groom is then free to remarry and collect another sumptuous dowry.

The male and female in-laws implicated in these murders have seldom been punished.

Such dowry deaths have been the subject of numerous media reports in India and other countries and have mobilized feminist groups to action. In some of the worst areas, such as the National Capital Territory of Delhi, where hundreds of such deaths are reported annually and the numbers are increasing yearly, the law now requires that all suspicious deaths of new brides be investigated.

Official government figures report 1,786 registered dowry deaths nationwide in 1987; there is also an estimate of some 5,000 dowry deaths in 1991. Women's groups sometimes picket the homes of the in-laws of burned brides. Some analysts have related the growth of this phenomenon to the growth of consumerism in Indian society.

Fears of impoverishing their parents have led some urban middle-class young women, married and unmarried, to commit suicide.

However, through the giving of large dowries, the newly wealthy are often able to marry their treasured daughters up the status hierarchy so reified in Indian society.