I've gone out with a very nice guy about 5 times hoping the chemistry would happen but it didn't. Now he's asked me out for tomorrow night and I think it's unfair to keep seeing him when I don't have the same romantic interest.

How should I tell him? Is it horrible to do it in an e-mail? Should I be truthful and just tell him I'm not "feelin it"?

Thanks,

Melissa

Just Tell him Melisa..

Better be HONEST and UP FRONT, there are lots of nice ways to explain that there are No Sparks and that it is better if you both see other people..

This way you both will have a chance to meet the soul of your choice and with the chemistry that will click...

You know what we say.. One has to kiss lots of Frogs.. Before one finds Her Prince or His Princess... good luck...

Cheers from, Scorpio and cats...

Originally Posted by SCORPIOWOMAN

Just Tell him Melisa..

Better be HONEST and UP FRONT, there are lots of nice ways to explain that there are No Sparks and that it is better if you both see other people..

This way you both will have a chance to meet the soul of your choice and with the chemistry that will click...

You know what we say.. One has to kiss lots of Frogs.. Before one finds Her Prince or His Princess... good luck...

Cheers from, Scorpio and cats...

Such Wise words Scorpio.....Honesty always pays.....
Melisa you may not end up with a partner but maybe a Good friend.....

Hi All

Why on earth do humans find it so hard to tell the truth? Surely you are going through enough suffering by prolonging it and he is therefor thinking everything is hunky dory.

Be kind to both him and yourself and admit that the chemistry isn't there and you're both better off parting now.

Explain that you are both unique and deserving of someone special and on the same wave length!

Wish him all the very best and move on!

Katz

Originally Posted by melissa

I've gone out with a very nice guy about 5 times hoping the chemistry would happen but it didn't. Now he's asked me out for tomorrow night and I think it's unfair to keep seeing him when I don't have the same romantic interest.

How should I tell him? Is it horrible to do it in an e-mail? Should I be truthful and just tell him I'm not "feelin it"?

Thanks,

Melissa

Hi Melissa,
the above posts are very wise works from three wise & classy ladies.
From a guys point of view he should know by now if its not two way traffic but its still hurts to be told thanks but no thanks.
As we all know nobody enjoys rejection so my advise is to be tactful & let him down in a way where you can part on good terms.
Something along the lines of gee x you know we have seen each other a few times now & we seem to becoming good friends but thats about it.
I hope you understand I think your a great guy & I love spending time with you but the spark I was hoping for just is not there.
I don't know why but to me your more like a friend than someone I could be romantic with so I guess we need to work out where that leaves us.

As a guy I think I would rather be told somting like that than a Dear John e-mail!
It would still hurt but rejection always does!

Yeh, just tell him.

It hurts to hear it, but it's fair and honest. Hopefully he'll take it with good grace.

Worse is when you both parties have deepening feelings, but one side has to call it off for family obligations (cultural etc). That really sucks when it is an outside force, but very important to the person in question.

Originally Posted by melissa

I've gone out with a very nice guy about 5 times hoping the chemistry would happen but it didn't. Now he's asked me out for tomorrow night and I think it's unfair to keep seeing him when I don't have the same romantic interest.

How should I tell him? Is it horrible to do it in an e-mail? Should I be truthful and just tell him I'm not "feelin it"?

Thanks,

Melissa

Hi you need to be tactful yet at the same time making it clear its not for you im sure he has been in the same position in reverse just keep it civilized but be honest and you should be fine

Whether to break it off by email though is a good question. I think breaking it off this way should be less painful than a face to face dumping but the female of the species seem to prefer face to face breakup or at least a phone call. I once broke up with a woman by text and followed it up with a phone call. I thought the text would allow her to compose herself before I rang her. It sure did, when I rang her she bit my head off and gave out to me about breaking up by text.

Originally Posted by melissa

I've gone out with a very nice guy about 5 times hoping the chemistry would happen but it didn't. Now he's asked me out for tomorrow night and I think it's unfair to keep seeing him when I don't have the same romantic interest.

How should I tell him? Is it horrible to do it in an e-mail? Should I be truthful and just tell him I'm not "feelin it"?

Thanks,

Melissa

In the first place, when you are asking on advice on such a 'matter of concern' and you have made your mind up for it...how you break up does not make much of a difference.

You only need ways to tell truth when you are not truthful yourself all through. The decision to take however is whether you would still like him to be a friend or you would like to close the chapter forever?

Don't think much and don't take much advise...be yourself and do what you like...atleast therein you would be true to yourself.

That's how 'nice guys' get used to dealing with 'nice women' anyways: rolleyes:

Originally Posted by melissa

I've gone out with a very nice guy about 5 times hoping the chemistry would happen but it didn't. Now he's asked me out for tomorrow night and I think it's unfair to keep seeing him when I don't have the same romantic interest.

How should I tell him? Is it horrible to do it in an e-mail? Should I be truthful and just tell him I'm not "feelin it"?

Thanks,

Melissa

Hi Melissa!

I hope by this time you did what you need to do since this post was about a week ago already.

Its really better to tell him straight in the face what you really feel rather than given him false hope.

Don't prolong both your agony...and move on with your lives.

Goodluck!


SOPHI