Is Monogamy Really Incompatible with Biology?


Saw this intetresting thought on another forum..

Just curious what are opinions about this on our forum here at PP...

Cheers from Scorpio and Cats...

Theres certainly a theory that, genetically, men are wired to try to propigate the species as widely as possible.

Through social normalisation, cultural values, a reduction in the raw 'populate or perish' drivers that might have existed and were perhaps essential sometime BC. It's arguable that this 'instict' is not needed any longer for the 'tribe' to continue. However, if the instict is at the genetic level, it might explain a few things....

There are also good and defensible reasons for why social and cultural factors have created 'monogamy' as one of (if not the most) common acceptable social arrangment in modern days.

Monogamy is a concious behavioral choice, not a biological trait like red hair or blue eyes. Physical attraction is biology.

Traditional marriage vows have usually included the phrase "forsaking all others", meaning "I choose to be with you and no one else".......note that is doesn't say anything about being attracted to all or any others.

There are likely to be temptations along the way. It is up to the individual to CHOOSE to honor their promise and resist the temptation, or to give into it because it "just feels so good."


My opinion is that successful relationships are nothing more than persistency...

It has nothing to do with sex, or looks.
Almost all our relationships are based on nothing more than those people who hung around the longest.

Just my opinion ok...

I've studied biology, and read a bit about the subject of monogamy, because it interests me. One thing about biology is that we are not uniform. Even if the tendency to be sexually faithful to one partner has a genetic component, that doesn't mean we'll all be the same. The theory of evolution says we will be diverse, and that the traits that increase survival will become more common.

It is worth considering that male reproductive success does not simply comprise getting your sperm into as many women as possible (sorry guys). Your offspring also have to be born, grow up, and live long enough to reproduce successfully themselves. Human offspring need a lot of parental care, so a stable partnership between a man and a woman may be one of the best situations for a child to be raised in. Also, human survival depends a lot on learned behaviours like hunting and gathering, and especially learned social behaviours. One of the best places for a child to learn all this stuff, may be within a stable nuclear family, within a wider "tribe". These stable partnerships depend on TRUST, which takes time and effort to BUILD.

On the other hand, there are several reasons why absolute sexual monogamy may not be the best evolutionary strategy, for women or for men. Many of us try to get a little extra on the side; a woman may get pregnant to a good looking man who isn't her husband, thus producing a more attractive, more marriageable child, which her ugly but reliable husband will help her raise along with their other, less attractive offspring. A man may make somebody else's wife pregnant, thus duping another man into raising an extra child for him.

I believe there's a great deal of diversity in human sexual behaviour, and there are several of our sexual behaviours which may have evolutionary advantages, at least in some environments. Even being gay. Helping your brother or sister, who has on average half their genetic material in common with you, raise their children, may be a better evolutionary strategy than having your own kids, eg. in environments where resources are very scarce.

One thing I've noticed about this subject, is that whatever you read, you will find out more about the author's personal attitudes than about biological "facts"! You can find examples in the animal kingdom to justify everything from pack rape, to a female with a harem of males.

I don't think we can look to biology for complete explanations for human behaviour. Our minds, personalities and societies are too complex to be explained away at this scale. As Scorpiowoman said, we choose how we act. If I found my partner had been sleeping around, and he excused himself by saying his biology made him do it, I'd show him the door. I want to have a relationship with a human being, not a goat.