Have you ever been in a 'relationship' where either you or your partner were a 'control freak'?

Just a point to ponder for now.

If your partner or Significant Other (SO) was a control freak, bully, intimidaor or manipulator you were in an abusive relationship.

If you are out of it and are ok now- through it and over it and all that, do you recall the 'intuitive' feelings that identified the behaviours or tactics they they used to control you and get you to do what they wanted their way?

TBC...

Ok, so no comments so far but 25 viewers...

I'd like to change the title to include 'Manipulators' etc


This type of behaviour is not gender specific. That means that both males and females engage in it as a 'power play' so that they are always 'on top' or 'one up' so to speak

Males tend to be more overtly physically abusive and females more subtly emotionally manipulative...

Can you spot a bully, intimidator, manipulator, user, abuser, etc, early enough, often in just a few minutes of chat, before you get trapped in a cycle of an abusive relationship?

Can you read the signs in emails, phone converstions, body language etc enough to be aware?

Do you have some sort of 'internal warning system' or 'intuition' that a person is a 'user' or 'abuser'???

Please feel free to join in any time to add what you know of experiences of friends, others, or any you have heard of as you feel safe to do so.

May I caution you not to reveal your own personal traumas as this is often a clue to an abuser on how to control you...
Also if you are still hurting, it may bring up feeings too hard to cope with... (get help if you do.... Please)

Abusers use such personal information as 'ammunition' to fire back and hurt or to use as a strategy to get what they want...
They try to get it out of you early in the 'relationship' even in chat...

There are lots here, there and everywhere who are only out to 'use and throw' so do take care to be self protective. Only a fool would not have enough love or respect for themselves to put themselves at risk...

Think
loving yourself in a healthy wholesaome way is not a bad thing. It is NOT 'selfish' ok.

That is simply one sneaky tactic to put someone down...

It is ok to be selfish at times...
(I'm being selfish and have no qualms about stating it as a simple fact... lol )