lately my girlfreind and i broke up. We had a son 18 months ago. now she wants me to pay maintainence and never brings him to my home. she lives a 100 miles away but epects me to do all the travelling and never lets me take him to my house.
my question is "how much are other single parents paying roughly and do they get to keep their kids over night"

Originally Posted by still_looking101

lately my girlfreind and i broke up. We had a son 18 months ago. now she wants me to pay maintainence and never brings him to my home. she lives a 100 miles away but epects me to do all the travelling and never lets me take him to my house.
my question is "how much are other single parents paying roughly and do they get to keep their kids over night"

does it matter how far u travel to see ur kiddyz or how much u pay! its the kiddyz at the heart of the matter not wat his mumma wants & demands aint it!

ive no problem with the travelling or that but when i cant keep my own son for an hour without her ringing or texting to see where he is. ive no say in his life but yet she seams to think that she can demand anything she likes off me. he has never seen my house in his 18months

Originally Posted by still_looking101

ive no problem with the travelling or that but when i cant keep my own son for an hour without her ringing or texting to see where he is. ive no say in his life but yet she seams to think that she can demand anything she likes off me. he has never seen my house in his 18months

guess shes not open for negotiation? time to seek legal advice?

but i dont waana try that in case i loose. then ill loose him too. he is a big part of my life. what i do will usually revolve around the weekend.

Originally Posted by still_looking101

but i dont waana try that in case i loose. then ill loose him too. he is a big part of my life. what i do will usually revolve around the weekend.

Hi there Still,
Read the conversations that have taken place and heres what I can offer: firstly maintenance is based on a percentage of your pay, the government over the last couple of years has adjusted the percentages so that Dads arent paying as much as what they have been. My best advice there is to take it through the child support agency so that you are paying the correct amount- not too much and not too little, secondly I agree with Denim.. seek legal advice on how different custody arrangements work, there is share care, weekend visits fortnightly visits etc. And when dealing with Mum just keep your cool and stay firm on what your rights as a parent are, nowdays courts are a little less biased towards fathers than they used to be. And while no one wants to go to court over these matters sometimes it is the best mediator. Good luck with your plight and I hope that you and your little boy get to spend more uninterrupted time together. I just wish there were more men out there like you, my daughters father has never met her even though while I was pregnant he and I had decided that I would drive 100 kms each weekend to drop our daughter at his home so that he could see her every weekend and that I would stay at a backpackers nearby so that if he needed me to help out with her and so that I could express daily for her while she was still breast feeding. Instead he sent me an sms on the day I was induced to say he wasnt ready to be a parent. Goodluck to you hope all works out and never give up he is your child too.

Originally Posted by still_looking101

but i dont waana try that in case i loose. then ill loose him too. he is a big part of my life. what i do will usually revolve around the weekend.

Go through child support Agency, they will make sure you pay the correct amount. Get Legal advice because you ARE entitled to have your child whether or not your ex likes it. Custody arrangements can be made between yourself and your ex and if you can't come to an agreement then you have no choice but to seek legal advice. I have 3 kids and My ex Has them 39% of the time while I have them 61% Your son is only 18 months old so is not going to understand what is happening but he needs MUM and DAD, the courts do not take into account the parents they only care what is best for children in situations like this and if you can be seen to make an effort to come to a reasonable arrangement you will not lose. If you can't agree then they will order you to go to mediation and have a report written up.

Good Luck.

Hi there Still,
Read the conversations that have taken place and heres what I can offer: firstly maintenance is based on a percentage of your pay, the government over the last couple of years has adjusted the percentages so that Dads arent paying as much as what they have been. My best advice there is to take it through the child support agency so that you are paying the correct amount- not too much and not too little, secondly I agree with Denim.. seek legal advice on how different custody arrangements work, there is share care, weekend visits fortnightly visits etc. And when dealing with Mum just keep your cool and stay firm on what your rights as a parent are, nowdays courts are a little less biased towards fathers than they used to be. And while no one wants to go to court over these matters sometimes it is the best mediator. Good luck with your plight and I hope that you and your little boy get to spend more uninterrupted time together.

Best option I see so far.. or better yet, talk it out again with the mother of the child, if you think she's still open to that (win-win situation) because it would still be best for everyone to have an out of court settlement on the issue before taking the next possible legal step. Whatever action you would take, it should be for the child's best interest. Goodluck!

Hi

I have recently helped a friend in the same boat.We went to legal aid and i know it is a frustrationg long process, he got regular access and he pays maintance.She tried everything nasty and it blew up in her face. The baby is 2 years old and Dad is 45 yrs old and even the lawyer representing Glen tried to tell him that it wouldn't work cause he is a truck driver and couldn't look after a young child. The best part for Glen was even though he has a small mortgage, it only cost him under $400 and he now sees his daughter every second weekend and she lives over 2 hours away and she has to bring her daughter at her expense halfway to meet Glen to collect his daughter.I know personally how difficult it is but you have to try for your childs sake.There is also a terrific organisation called Dads in Distress and the people who have contacted them, came back and told me how much they have helped.I have seen men suicidal and yet come back from the brink after getting help.If you need help of any sort seek it and you will receive. I know things will get better, you just need to hold on and know everything will work out.Best of luck.

Rainbow Angel