Hi single parents, I have a friend who is in a bad situation and maybe you can help him with your point of view.

He is in a relationship for the last 6 months and everything is going great with his new partner they get along very well and he thinks she is perfect and she says she thinks the same. The problem is that she as three kids who for some reason cannot stand him and are doing everything they can to break them up and sadly it seems from what my friends is telling me they are winning.

Would you let your kids dictate your personal life even if your quite sure your new love is a good person and you would like to spend the rest of your life together. Up to what point is your kids opinions the rule.

Thanks in advance for your answers.

Originally Posted by Alzeimer

Hi single parents, I have a friend who is in a bad situation and maybe you can help him with your point of view.

He is in a relationship for the last 6 months and everything is going great with his new partner they get along very well and he thinks she is perfect and she says she thinks the same. The problem is that she as three kids who for some reason cannot stand him and are doing everything they can to break them up and sadly it seems from what my friends is telling me they are winning.

Would you let your kids dictate your personal life even if your quite sure your new love is a good person and you would like to spend the rest of your life together. Up to what point is your kids opinions the rule.

Thanks in advance for your answers.

hey Al...you know i have one kid and she can be a handful but never is she allowed to intrude in my personal life...if she doesn't like the guy i'm with then too bad...she'll either get use to him or not, stay home and not come with us if she's invited. Just like if she wants to be alone with her friends. The girl ones. but as the adult i have the right to say listen be good or else...and i would...the kids are just jealous and are afraid the guy is going to take up too much time with mom...but like I said I get to make the rules. i hope for your friends sake his girlfriend let's the kids know she won't put up with it. of course if he's doing abusive things then the kids have a right to say something. but if the mom is happy then she needs to stand firm or the kids will run every guy out of her life.

no way do my offspring dictate 2 me alzo! they have my support in every thing they do great & not so & i expect the same from them & if they need remindin they geta lump sums worth! ur buddy & his love will make it if she stands her ground,not forgettin the kiddyz r also protectin their mumma as they do! jealous maybe but thats natural & somethin the 2 adults will haf2 coach the kiddyz thru! wish them the best alzo!

kids never dictate!!!! However kids are a very good judge of character and maybe there is something they sense with your friend?? Both Adults need to sit down with the kids and discuss with them what is happening after all it is their lives too! Your friend needs to find out what it is that the kids don't like about him and his partner needs to speak with her kids and lay down the ground rules about what kids should and should not do. I have 3 kids and my kids will tell me what it is they don't like about someone then we discuss what we think we could do about the situation. I always watch how my kids behave around someone new even female friends, they have a natural ability to pick up on negativity.

If your friends partner doesn't like the idea of speaking to her kids then maybe she is not the right one for him!

I wish you luck in helping him Alz.

Originally Posted by Cutebutbossy

kids never dictate!!!! However kids are a very good judge of character and maybe there is something they sense with your friend?? Both Adults need to sit down with the kids and discuss with them what is happening after all it is their lives too! Your friend needs to find out what it is that the kids don't like about him and his partner needs to speak with her kids and lay down the ground rules about what kids should and should not do. I have 3 kids and my kids will tell me what it is they don't like about someone then we discuss what we think we could do about the situation. I always watch how my kids behave around someone new even female friends, they have a natural ability to pick up on negativity.

If your friends partner doesn't like the idea of speaking to her kids then maybe she is not the right one for him!

I wish you luck in helping him Alz.

I think this is a smart and mature way of dealing with any issues...

I do not have kids, but, I can see some fantastic moms out there, bringing their young ones just right..

Good on you sweetie, I bet you are a terific mother...

Kids , after all are the future.. Hugs from, Scorpio and cats...

Originally Posted by SCORPIOWOMAN

I think this is a smart and mature way of dealing with any issues...

I do not have kids, but, I can see some fantastic moms out there, bringing their young ones just right..

Good on you sweetie, I bet you are a terific mother...

Kids , after all are the future.. Hugs from, Scorpio and cats...

today there are meny factors regarding children and step perants and every one would love to be happy
yes children are a great asset to for some who would love a family and cant for other resons and perants also need to let go off hes /shes mine how dare you ive seen this via my own children who was unlucky inlove but they single mums and dads out there do a great job and its only one that gets in the paper for bad things that makes it harder for the others trust in a relationship goes a very long way but even more so when there are children involved too

Originally Posted by SCORPIOWOMAN

I think this is a smart and mature way of dealing with any issues...

I do not have kids, but, I can see some fantastic moms out there, bringing their young ones just right..

Good on you sweetie, I bet you are a terific mother...

Kids , after all are the future.. Hugs from, Scorpio and cats...

Thanx Scorps I believe in listening to what my kids have to say as it is their lives too. I have been in a few relationships over the past few years and each one has turned out bad, My kids never once told me the male was wrong for me but I could see in their reactions to some things that happened they were not comfortable. Kids are our future and if we subject them to wrong doings etc they will evidently think that is the way to behave and we do not need that. Mixed families can and do work but it takes effort from ALL parties concerned, children included. Yes being a single mum/dad is tough we have to fill two roles and we also have to keep our sanity without the benefits of being able to go out whenever we would like (we need our own space too)

Originally Posted by Cutebutbossy

Thanx Scorps I believe in listening to what my kids have to say as it is their lives too. I have been in a few relationships over the past few years and each one has turned out bad, My kids never once told me the male was wrong for me but I could see in their reactions to some things that happened they were not comfortable. Kids are our future and if we subject them to wrong doings etc they will evidently think that is the way to behave and we do not need that. Mixed families can and do work but it takes effort from ALL parties concerned, children included. Yes being a single mum/dad is tough we have to fill two roles and we also have to keep our sanity without the benefits of being able to go out whenever we would like (we need our own space too)

I totally agree with all said here..

And having young folks is like having all these special friends to talk to and confide with..Only Shorter...

I salute all these mums who are making a bit of a future here...
Hugs to all from, scorpio and cats...

ha!!! dont forget, us dads are also single dads as well, trying to raise our kids....

I have no kids, but I agree with Cute, Laying down the law should be the last option not the first. I think you should try to understand what is going on and maybe reasure the kids the new person is not a threat to them and they will always come first but mommy needs to be able to have relationships with adults etc. Of course if they are just being selfish then laying down the law is the only option. But the guy should be understanding as well. He cannot expect to walk into a new family and be treated like 'dad'. He has to work at it.