A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

[quote=88888888]A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

[/QUOTE
very big grasshopers poor texan

An Englishman had visited Texas and was telling his friends about his trip.
One fellow ask, "What most impressed you about Texans".
He replied, "Their confidence. A Texan took me duck hunting and we sat in a blind all
day and never saw a thing. Then about sundown a lone duck flew overhead, so
high you could hardly see it. When it was directly overhead the Texan raised his
shotgun and fired. The duck kept right on flying".
Then the Texan turned to me in amazement and said, "Son, yore witnessing
a miracle. Thar flies a dead duck".

Originally Posted by 88888888

An Englishman had visited Texas and was telling his friends about his trip.
One fellow ask, "What most impressed you about Texans".
He replied, "Their confidence. A Texan took me duck hunting and we sat in a blind all
day and never saw a thing. Then about sundown a lone duck flew overhead, so
high you could hardly see it. When it was directly overhead the Texan raised his
shotgun and fired. The duck kept right on flying".
Then the Texan turned to me in amazement and said, "Son, yore witnessing
a miracle. Thar flies a dead duck".

nice one.what a confidance. but do u ppl use texans in jokes like some of us do with sardars ?(no offens couse even sardars love to hear such jokes,they are full of zeal and entertainin)

Originally Posted by goldenheart999

nice one.what a confidance. but do u ppl use texans in jokes like some of us do with sardars ?(no offens couse even sardars love to hear such jokes,they are full of zeal and entertainin)

Yes.........

Texas Pride


Bigger in Texas As everyone knows, everything is bigger in Texas.

The roads are bigger, the trees are bigger,

and the wide open spaces are, well, wider.

Texans wear the biggest hats, the biggest boots, and drive the biggest cars.

One day, a Texan died and went to heaven.

He was met at the pearly gates by none other than St. Peter, who proceeded to give him a tour of the wonders of heaven.

The Texan, however, was not impressed.

St. Peter showed him the most beautiful rivers, and the Texan said that they were bigger in Texas.

St. Peter revealed to him the majesty of mountains, but the Texan reminded him that they were just as good, if not better, back in Texas.

St. Peter showed him the glory of the stars (they shine brighter in Texas), the enormity of the sunrise (you haven't seen it until you've seen it in Texas), and the simple wonder of a doe and a fawn drinking at a lake at sunset (reminiscent of Lake Texarkana, only not as pretty).

There was nothing St. Peter could do to overcome the man's opinion of his home state. Finally, St. Peter took the Texan right out to the edge of heaven, and they both looked down.

From there one could see all the way down into Hell.

They could see the fire and the brimstone and the agony ad infinitum. It was a horrific sight.

St. Peter then said, "Well? What do you think about that? Have anything like THAT down in Texas?"

The Texan replied, "No sir, we don't -- but I know a couple old boys down in Houston who will put that out for ya."